I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
