So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The power of my boobs compel you
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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