The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
