Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
