This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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