im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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