Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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