shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
