Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
