she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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