I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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