i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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