I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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