C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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