4 words: hood of his car
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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