I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
