Plan B is the new Plan A
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
