There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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