He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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