There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
