Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
