It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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