It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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