i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
