You don't have asthma, your pregnant
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
