Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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