then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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