I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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