i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
