That's intense
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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