Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
