i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
