My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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