drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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