a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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