By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
