I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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