But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
