i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
