Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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