Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
