"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Boobs speak an international language.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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