There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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