I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
