that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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