Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
