16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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