God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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