Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize