Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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