i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
