Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I deserve this hangover.
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