Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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