Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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(212): View more from New York

I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.

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(361): View more from Texas

Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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(239): View more from Florida

No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him

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(+61): View more from Australia

There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.

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(207): View more from Maine

Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....

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