You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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