no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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