We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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