I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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