I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When did angry sex become our thing?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
