dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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