listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
