Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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