I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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